nyralunaexe

http://www.youtube.com/user/NyraLunaEXE
http://thenobodyofasoldier.deviantart.com/

Yes, I do other stuff too, ^^' Check me out when you get the chance. XD

The worst thing about any mental disorder is the constant feeling of being alone, isolated, cold and depressed. 

An important thing to nail into your head is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. YOU ARE NOT!!!!! Tons of people out there are suffering and have suffered this just like you! Find someone you can relate to, open up, don't keep this heavy, heavy burden to yourself. It's hard! Get someone to give you a hand. :) It assists with the burden and sorrow.

Let the sorrow, anxiety and fear out into the open.

Sometimes, just listening to a song by an artist you can relate to helps.For me, I'd listen to these:

"Rain", "Seki-Ray", and "Birdcage" - Gackt Camui

"Sacrifice" - Luzmelt

"Please" - Kim Hyun Joong

"Stranger In Moscow" - Michael Jackson

All of these songs helped me cry my eyes out VERY hard. For a while, I couldn't even listen to them! But, I could relate to them all. :) And it felt really nice. :) 

So, find someone you can relate too. :) It reminds you that you are not alone. :) 

Holidays can make you spike even more. You want everything to be perfect, but they're not. You're scared that things you love will make you spike, which  leads you to spiking! Every problem suddenly seems huge. You're anxiety and stress level increase. You feel more alone and cold inside. (I need to stop listening to Michael Jackson. xD)

Remember - NOTHING is perfect. Not even the holidays! XD

Instead of worrying even more about the holidays and your OCD, remember YOU ARE MAKING PROGRESS. YOU ARE WORKING VERY HARD! You are doing your best! Don't  focus on what has yet to be done, focus on what you have done already and be proud! :)

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year's. :) <3 God bless you all!

As I mentioned before, they are very real. "Satan is a clever little bastard. He uses everything he can get his hands on to bring down God's children, which is us. HE HATES US. So, of course, he wants to pound our heads to the dirt! Plus, not only that, he has a whole legion of demons working for him! So, technically, you are a demon slayer! :) You're fighting off your inner demons-LITERALLY!"

Now, don't freak out here. I don't mean DEMON POSSESSION. That's a TOTALLY different scenario. EVERYONE at some point has to combat demons unique to them. I won't go into demon possession, because it hardly ever happens anymore, and I don't want to spike or trigger anyone. 

The Catholic Church has a detailed, amazing study on demons. CS Lewis in Screwtape Letters gives the perfect idea of how demons think and plot. I encourage you to look at both of these, if you can get your hands on it. 

Nowadays, it's MUCH easier for demons to worm their way into our heads through movies, books, video games, music, the internet and all the other types of media out there. It's almost unavoidable! Of course, the manner in which people act towards one another has only gotten worse.

There's a certain way demons work when it comes to the fine arts media, which makes it especially difficult for OCD sufferers. Say you see a movie or image on the computer or heard something that you found extremely disturbing. Well, you want it out, right? So, you push it away. You may get rid of it for a while, but one day, in a moment of stress, it comes back, pestering you and pestering you. You try to get rid of it, but you are only making it worse! It causes you great anxiety. Yet, you feel such humiliation and embarrassment! "This came from a damn movie or computer or whatever-why does it bother me so much?!" It's almost like a tick or a virus infecting your mind. You're always of it being there even when isn't. You start having random triggers that spike you. Let me tell you this: IT MAKES SENSE WHY CERTAIN THINGS WOULD DEEPLY DISTURB YOU. Many, many things have demons attached to them! Certain things are authentically bad, and hurt you, because there are demons attached to them. But, there are ways to be healed! You can! Unfortunately, it takes time. When you have a gaping wound, you don't just put a bandaid on it. It takes a lot of time and care. Same thing with a mental wound.

Here's another way demons can enter your mind and pester you. Say you were hurt by a person or someone you loved was hurt. Maybe you just heard that an injustice occurred somewhere else. You get angry, right?! Hell, my little sister is going through a terrible split up with her best friend, and I am extremely angry! There is such thing as righteous anger, you know! But, say it's years later. You can still feel spurts of that anger or sadness or pain twinge at you. You still have recollections of that situation. It still bothers you. You feel tension or anxiety when it comes up. That's also a common way demons pester and bother. 

I would know of these experiences, well, because I'm still fighting them. Demons can infect you in multiple ways. They're crafty little pests. So be wary! 

Before I get started, I'll give a little heads up on what meditation is. 

"Meditation is any form of a family of practices in which practitioners train their minds or self-induce a mode of consciousness to realize some benefit.^[1][2][3]

Meditation is generally an inwardly oriented, personal practice, which individuals can do by themselves. Prayer beads or other ritual objects may be used during meditation. Meditation may involve invoking or cultivating a feeling or internal state, such as compassion, or attending to a specific focal point. The term can refer to the state itself, as well as to practices or techniques employed to cultivate the state.^[4]

There are dozens of specific styles of meditation practice;^[3] the word meditation may carry different meanings in different contexts. Meditation has been practiced since antiquity as a component of numerous religious traditions.

A 2007 study by the U.S. government found that nearly 9.4% of U.S. adults (over 20 million) had practiced meditation within the past 12 months, up from 7.6% (more than 15 million people) in 2002.^[5]

Since the 1960s, meditation has been the focus of increasing scientific research of uneven rigor and quality.^[6] In over 1,000 published research studies, various methods of meditation have been linked to changes in metabolism, blood pressure, brain activation, and other bodily processes.^[7][8] Meditation has been used in clinical settings as a method of stress and pain reduction.<sup>[9][10]"

A lot of therapists and psychiatrists recommend meditation as a method for controlling an OCD sufferers thoughts and obsessions. In my opinion, meditation works best with those under regular stress (and by that, I mean, everyday life stress) not heavy, mental stress. Meditation requires you to focus only on your mind, nothing but your mind. Technically, I think that's going about it the wrong way, because it only absorbs you even MORE in your mind, which is what your trying to avoid. The goal is to focus on every day life. Meditation might just make the whole situation worse. 

Basic relaxation techniques are all you need to get you through the stress of therapy. You want to keep your body and nerves calm in order to further let your mind know YOU'RE IN CONTROL. Place your hand over your heart and slowly breathe in and breathe out. Tense your muscles up section by section as hard as you can, then slowly release.(that's progressive relaxation) Drinking tea, massage therapy, listen to peaceful music, Sometimes,  instead of guided imagery or meditation, I like to look at picture of lovely landscapes or houses or a person I like etc. Do a relaxing hobby, like cooking or cleaning or in my case, make up or video editing. I find those fun and relaxing. With make up, I give myself a chance to enhance my features, giving me a little confidence. :)

Some songs I find extremely relaxing:

Romancia - Lareine
BT - Somnambulist 
The Theme from Final Fantasy IV 
Aphrodite Oceanus - The Wingless
Fairytale - Enya
Breathe - Blue Stone
ANYTHING by Diana Krall
Tifa's Theme from Final Fantasy VII
Nocturne in E Minor - Chopin
Moonlight Sonata - Beethoven
Clair De Lune - Claude Debussy 
Dream of the Shore Near Another World from 'Chrono Cross'
Frozen Flame from 'Chrono Cross'
Garden of God from 'Chrono Cross'
Radical Dreamers from (sigh) 'Chrono Cross' (YES, THIS game has many, many peaceful songs.)
The Brink of Time from 'Chrono Trigger'
You've Got a Friend - James Taylor
Something in the Way She Moves - James Taylor )Well, ANYTHING by James Taylor)
Pillow Talk from 'Devil May Cry'
Sarabande of Healing (from Castlevania: Curse of Darkness) - Michiru Yamane
Crystal Teardrops (from Castlevania: Symphony of the Night) - Michiru Yamane
Nocturne (Ditto) - Michiru Yamane
(Okay, multiple tracks from the soundtrack of 'Castlevania: Lament of Innocence' are extremely soothing: Dark Palace of Waterfalls, Garden Forgotten By Time, Fog-enshrouded Night Scape etc.)
Dire, Dire Docks from 'Super Mario 64'
Anything by Samantha James or Late Night Alumni.
The 'December' album by George Winston
Because I'm Stupid - Kim Hyun Joong
Can You See? - Lucid Fall
I'm Your Man - Kim Hyun Joong
Secret Letters - Hyde
ANYTHING by Coldplay.
Regret - Malice Mizer
ANYTHING by Kuroishi Hitomi.
The 'Theme of Love' from Final Fantasy iV (I have SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many versions of that song. <3 <3 <3)

I could go on, but find something that you find peace in. Something you love, or holds a special place in your heart. 

Relax and rest well, all!</sup> 

"You have probably never heard of PTOCD before; I hadn’t. There are two main reasons why PTOCD isn’t familiar to most in the field: it is not a diagnosis in the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th Edition), and there is not much professional literature on the topic. Thus, little is known about PTOCD. Many questions remain unanswered. I will focus on what professional literature suggests about the relationships between post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Be aware that trauma and adverse events are loosely defined in this article as they are in the literature.

Post-Traumatic obsessive-compulsive disorder is a condition wherein the sufferer has both PTSD and OCD. Co-occurring PTSD and OCD seems to appear in about 10-40% of OCD sufferers depending on symptom severity of the population surveyed. Outpatient treatment facilities are typically composed of a percentage closer to the smaller percentage, inpatient facilities to the larger number. 

My interest in the topic began years ago when I spoke to a client diagnosed with OCD who had experienced a traumatic event four years earlier. The ten-year-old had almost slipped away from his father’s grasp in a very high and severe flood in North Carolina. It was unclear which disorder originated first, OCD or PTSD. But without the knowledge that a traumatic event had occurred, I would have missed some essential data that helped me understand and treat the boy. The case had a different feel to it because regular OCD treatment with exposure and response-prevention (E/RP) went differently that usual.

It took the boy longer to habituate (adapt) to memories and images of water. Not surprisingly, given his trauma history in water, his anxiety remained elevated longer. Treatment worked well but took longer than usual. The case made me consider the relationship between the two disorders, and, most importantly, the treatment implications. I had not worked with many individuals who had experienced a trauma in their lives; or if I had, I was unaware of it.

There are key similarities between OCD and PTSD. Both are classified as anxiety disorders in the DSM-IV. Each consists of symptoms of hyperarousal, recurrent intrusive thoughts and/or images, and avoidant behavior. In the meager literature on PTOCD, depression is often an additional clinical feature.

An important distinction between PTSD and OCD is that in PTSD a sufferer has experienced a real danger or threat of bodily harm or death (i.e., war, rape, car accident, etc.). An OCD sufferer has frequently experienced a perceived threat or danger (i.e., touching a doorknob, not checking a stove, etc.) that is viewed as a larger danger than it really is. In OCD, anxiety enlarges and distorts the probability that an (in)action or (no) contact with an object might lead to negative consequence (i.e., sickness, making others sick, fire, something bad happening, possibly death, etc.). Furthermore, elevated anxiety alters how terrible the consequences might seem. In PTSD, the surroundings, incident, or event is seen by everyone in the population as potentially life-threatening; this is not the case with OCD.

In military veterans, PTSD and OCD can emerge simultaneously. This makes sense intuitively since in life-and-death surroundings, OCD contamination and safety fears and resulting rituals of washing and checking could result from such a horrific environment. The same phenomenon may occur with rape victims, sexually and physically abused people, and with individuals in major car accidents.

The current literature focuses on PTSD sufferers diagnosed with OCD subsequent to PTSD. Clearly, there have to be some OCD individuals who later acquire PTSD. Perhaps some OCD sufferers are predisposed and vulnerable (as they were in getting an OCD diagnosis in the first place) when a trauma happens. It is thought that in PTSD brain metabolism undergoes severe changes and increases the probability that further biochemical changes can occur.

Both PTSD and OCD sufferers can have intrusive, recurrent mental images of adverse events. At times, these mental images endure for months or even years. Approximately 50-80% of difficult-to-treat OCD sufferers have mental images. The cause of this is unknown, but it is very important for all clients to report all such experiences and all perceived and real incidents of trauma to their therapists. Such disclosures will ultimately serve both the client and the therapist in delivering the most effective treatment possible.

The treatments of PTSD and OCD share the important component of E/RP, gradual and systematic exposure to fear-inducing stimuli and the prevention of behaviors (i.e., washing, checking, avoidance, etc.) that are used to reduce anxiety. The emergence of anxiety and discomfort during therapy is necessary to ensure its success. Because it is impossible to recreate the real life-and-death danger in PTSD, the imaginal exposure is typically utilized to aid with emotionally coming to grips with the memories of the original trauma. Direct experience with the fear-inducing actions and objects is much more common in OCD. Since there is no real danger (i.e., touching doorknobs in the bathroom, turning on the microwave oven, casually walking by ones car without checking its doors, etc.) in OCD, exposures to the fear-inducing stimuli are more possible and likely. Therapists may use imaginal exposure in OCD treatment too; however, actual exposure is the more frequent approach to therapy. In both cases, however, cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) has been demonstrated to be highly effective for helping individual sufferers. When both elements are present, a sufferer is likely to benefit from CBT as well."

PTOCD is another rarity in the OCD world, but it still exists, and though I have a little pure-o, I mainly have this one. Basically, your obsessive thoughts are connected with trauma or bad experiences. (And trauma in this case doesn't have to be death, rape, war etc.-it can be any extreme stressful situation to the brain, not handled properly. For me, I was exposed to extremely explicit  porn when I was very young, and at different times through out my life. The exposures just got more and more intense. It turned me off to sex. So, now, I having to work through these.

CBT and exposure, again, best therapies, but another best way is to share the trauma and stress to an extremely trust person. It's a way with coping. Journaling is great for victims and sufferers. 

You're not alone. Everyone has bad memories that they have trouble getting rid of or getting over. Your brain's just wired differently in a way that keeps your mind on red alert, like you're gonna die or be harmed or whatever, but you're not. You can overcome this too. You don't have to live in a life of fear and terror.

God bless you all. :) <3

"Purely Obsessional Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (also called Pure Obsessional OCD, Pure-O, OCD without overt compulsions orPrimarily Obsessional OCD)^[1] is a lesser-known form or manifestation of OCD. For people with Purely Obsessional OCD, there are usually no observable compulsions, such as those commonly seen in those with the typical form of OCD (checking, counting, hand-washing, etc.). While ritualizing and neutralizing behaviors do take place, they are almost entirely in the form of excessive mental rumination.^[2] The nature and type of Purely Obsessional OCD varies greatly, but the central theme for all sufferers is the emergence of a disturbing intrusive thought or question, an unwanted/inappropriate mental image, or a frightening impulse that causes the person extreme anxiety because it is antithetical to closely held religious beliefs, morals, or societal mores.^[3] While those without Purely Obsessional OCD might instinctively respond to bizarre intrusive thoughts or impulses as insignificant and part of a normal variance in the human mind, someone with Purely Obsessional OCD will respond with profound alarm followed by an intense attempt to neutralize the thought or avoid having the thought again. The person begins to ask themselves constantly "Am I really capable of something like that?" or "Could that really happen?" or "Is that really me?" (even though they usually realize that their fear is irrational, which causes them further distress)^[4] and puts tremendous effort into escaping or resolving the unwanted thought. They then end up in a vicious cycle of mentally searching for reassurance and trying to get a definitive answer.^[2][5]

Common intrusive thoughts/obsessions include themes of:

• Responsibility: with an excessive concern over someone's well-being marked specifically by guilt over believing they have harmed or might harm (either on purpose or inadvertently) someone.^[6]
• Sexuality: including recurrent doubt over one's sexual orientation (also called HOCD or "homosexual OCD"). People with this theme display a very different set of symptoms than those actually experiencing an actual crisis in sexuality. One major difference is that people who have HOCD report being attracted sexually towards the opposite sex prior to the onset of HOCD, while homosexual people whether in the closet or repressed have always had such same sex attractions for life-long.^[7] The question "Am I gay" takes on a pathological form. Many people with this type of obsession are in healthy and fulfilling romantic relationships, either with members of the opposite sex, or the same sex (in which case their fear would be "Am I straight?").^[3][8][9]
• Violence: which involves a constant fear of violently harming oneself or loved ones or persistent worry that one is a pedophile and might harm a child.^[8][10]
• Religiosity: manifesting as intrusive thoughts or impulses revolving around blasphemous and sacrilegious themes.^[10][11]
• Health: including consistent fears of having or contracting a disease (different from hypochondriasis) through seemingly impossible means (for example, touching an object that has just been touched by someone with a disease) or mistrust of a diagnostic test.^[10][11]
• Relationship Substantiation: in which someone in a romantic relationship endlessly tried to ascertain the justification for being or remaining in that relationship. It includes obsessive thoughts to the tune of "How do I know this is real love?" "How do I know he/she is the one?" "Am I attracted enough to this person?" or "Am I in love with this person, or is it just love?" The agony of attempting to arrive at certainty leads to an intense and endless cycle of anxiety because it is impossible to arrive at a definite answer.^[12]"

"ROCD (Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) commonly exists as an aspect of an OCD diagnosis. This part of the OCD illness displays itself as a type of obsession with quality of relationships. People that deal with obsessive thinking find it very hard to focus on pleasurable activities and tend to take life very seriously. Racing thoughts, ruminations and intrusive thoughts about their partners, as well as demands for perfection and orderliness places a great strain on relationships. A person that has relationship OCD can consciously or unconsciously expect their partner to cater to them and their fixations. Failing to accommodate the ROCD sufferer can cause immense difficulties.

The ROCD victim constantly and repeatedly questions whether their current partner is really the right one for them, and whether they actually love that partner. Dwelling on faults and inadequacies in themselves and others, and seemingly unaware that all individuals and relationships have flaws and shortcomings, they question whether or not they truly love their partner.

Some individuals who deal with relationship OCD also question their ability to love, or continue to love another person, or feel that maybe their feelings are not what they should be towards their partner. This type of negative self-talk often leads to either short-term or permanent breakups of what would otherwise have been an adequate relationship. When asked, they are often unable to really explain the breakup beyond that “their feelings weren’t right”."

This may also include their sexual performance for their partner. That's what I've seen. As you have seen, this can cause a lot of anxiety and sadness to the sufferer. You want to take the same kind of routes of therapy as well, but you want to talk openly about this with your partner. Show your partner that this is not you, this is an actual mental illness. You can go through the therapy together. Just tell your partner. They deserve to know. 

From what I can tell, the best kind of therapy for this is writing it out. Write your doubts and worries and feelings. 

But, most importantly, you just need to work this through with your partner. Show him everything you know about ROCD, OCD, compulsions, rituals, etc. 

God bless you and your partner! 

"Having intrusive thoughts about homosexuality and doubting one's own sexuality are symptoms that characterize a subtype of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, sometimes called Homosexual OCD or "H"-OCD. This article includes a few guidelines you may want to consider to help you understand the difference between suffering from HOCD and actually being gay"

This is a tough subject, considering homosexuality is increasing so much these days. It makes it extremely hard on OCD sufferers, especially ones who are already in a relationship. They start having intrusive thoughts about whether or not they're gay or lesbian. This is extremely embarrassing. 

Okay, nail this into your head:

If you are heterosexual, then you are. End of story.

(http://straightguise.com/default.asp?id=1842)

NAIL THIS INTO YOUR HEAD, BECAUSE IT IS THE TRUTH. 

You can't get into a discussion about this with a lot of people, because they get super defensive, they bring in politics and religion, they get SUPER nit-picky, etc., making it even MORE difficult for OCD sufferers. Now, as you probably know, I AM a Christian, so it's obvious that I am against it, but I won't bring that in. There have been debated statistics and such about how trans genders, gays and lesbians and such have short life spans, die early, yada, yada, etc. etc. You can look it up for yourself, and figure it out. We're not gonna get into that.

I would NOT recommend watching or reading or anything involving lesbians or gays, or in NO WAY look up gay porn. That will only harm you. You want to tackle the inner turmoil inside. Expose yourself to people you feel anxiety around. For the feelings inside, the best way to tackle that is to write out all your thoughts and feelings. Write out the thoughts, feelings, and worries you have about being gay. Just write out EVERYTHING. If you have to do it all the time, then, do it. You need to get your mind under control.

If you're a Christian, and you're worried about God sending you to hell, remember to get this through your head: GOD KNOWS THESE ARE JUST INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS. He's a God that knows everything. He knows the difference between authenticity and intrusive thoughts. He knows what's in your heart, and can easily work through you.

Good luck to you all!

Okay, yet another controversial subject, but I'm sharing what I've learned and what I know. Feel free to look up what others have said about it and so on. 

Exposure Therapy deals mainly with PHYSICAL triggers. Say, if you have germ OCD, you'd touch a door handle or shake someone's hand everyday. Or if you had a pedophilia OCD, you'd hold a child every so often. It's taking NEUTRAL objects and exposing yourself to them. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy comes in when you train your emotions and mind to gradually respond less and less to those triggers. 

Now, this part gets a little hard. Some therapists may say "yes". My counselor said "no". Here's what I think. It relates to those of you who suffer with violent thoughts and any sort of sex related stuff. It's on the subject of violence and porn. 

When I talk about violence, I just mean extremely violent, gory movies, games, books, whatever. If you're already desensitized to stuff like that, cool. XD I'm not talking about you. I'm just talking about the people who need to know what they should expose themselves too. Most violent thoughts include some sort of object or place that the anxiety attaches itself too. Sometimes, it's a person or animal. You want to expose yourself to the OBJECT, PLACE, PERSON, OR ANIMAL you get anxious thoughts ABOUT. If you watch or read something about the subject matter in your head, that's going about it all wrong. It's making it worse. You get my drift? Like if someone had anxious thoughts about smothering their kid or something, they shouldn't go watch or read stuff about psychos who actually did that!! Noooo!!! You'd spend time with your kid in order to put those thoughts in their place! 

As for porn, I'm completely against that. It's been scientifically shown that any kind of porn hurts your brain in some form or another. If you don't agree with me, just look it up. Doctors and scientists of all sorts will tell you the same thing about it in different ways. Stay away from it. It honestly only hurts you, and you can easily become addicted to it. Plus, if you have HOCD, it's just another form of reassurance. 

Again, these are from I've learned and what I know and have learned. Good luck!